Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Nothing To Do

Stay at home moms (SAHM) have it made. We get to sleep until 10 every day, our children wake up bright and happy and go about their days w/o a care in the world. They are born w/ all knowledge so it is not necessary for Moms to spend time w/ our little ones teaching them to count, their colors or other such things. Three meals a day are loving prepared by the cook who comes in and the maid makes sure the house is spotless by the time our husbands come home. And for those of us homeschooling, we have gifted children who need no instruction or help w/ school work. They just breeze though Algebra and Physics like they don't have a care in the world. Then while the nanny gives the kids a bath and tucks them in bed, I happily skip off to my bedroom to relax the night away. When the children wake up in the middle of the night, no fear, we have a live in nanny. :-D

Okay, now all you SAHM's can stop laughing and everyone else needs to realize you are WRONG!!! My life is nothing like what I described in the previous paragraph but I don't for the life of me understand why everyone else thinks it is! Just the other day I had someone say to me,"You know it wouldn't be that difficult to do ...x.y.z...All you need to do is...." Then when I said great so you can help me by doing this... the other person laughed and said, "No I can't I have too much on my plate. I was telling you how to do it."

I was quite proud of myself that I didn't automatically scream at this person. Now I understand that this usually knowledgeable and sweet lady does have a lot on her plate and I accept the fact that she can't help with this project because her plate IS full. What floors me is that somehow I have NOTHING to do. Are you kidding me?

Here's a question for all you ladies out there. For the SAHM's, how have you dealt with this in your life. I get the just smile and say, I'm sorry I can't, thing; but, have you ever taken it upon yourself to educate the (what seams like) masses on their error.

For those who are single or married w/o children, what is it you think I do all day. Watch TV and eat bon-bons? I can understand a little about Moms who work outside the home. These ladies take on a lot. They spend 40 hrs a week, mostly, outside the home to come home AND do my job as well. Ladies, just because I don't have as many responsibilities as you do, that doesn't mean that my plate isn't full as well. I have just chosen to put different things on it. Think of it kinda like a buffet, you chose fried chicken; I chose pork chops.

I really would love some comments on this. Even if I don't know you, please leave a response. The more feed back the better. (Watch nobody respond now!) lol

Parental Rights

Dear Blogging Friends,

As you visited my site I'm sure you noticed the parentalrights.org sign. I want to encourage all of you to visit this sight and learn what it is all about. With the US quickly wanting to become more global, the rights that most of us take for granted may be gone soon. I promise I am not one of those people who read somewhere on the Internet about some family who heard about a friend of a friend who had a friend who was investigated by the state and is now hyper-paranoid! I lived a similar instance in my own life, TWICE!

Once when my DD, who is now 13, was 3 days old, her father (whom I affectionately call the sperm donor)'s new girlfriend called DSS saying I was trying to sell my baby! I had a full blown investigation on me at an already stressful time in my life. Needless to say I was cleared of the charges but still...Then when Colleen was 11 someone called DCFS in WI where we were visiting a friend and actually took custody of her on DCFS authority. I was given a fraction of the time to return home with my children and immediately check her into a hospital for evaluation. BTW, when we arrived at the hospital it was well past midnight! My husband and I had to be there to be evaluated ourselves with our 13 month old son and me 4 months pregnant. The stress of that ordeal, which also cost us $600 in lawyer and Dr bills, I believed also caused me to go into premature labor at only 21 weeks. Our beautiful daughter Cassy was born to early and lived only 2 hours.

These cases are real. Our simple rights as parents are being infringed upon daily. Ask any homeschooler. Most homeschoolers have to abide by more laws than the public or private schools do.

When Connor was born (in Illinois) I was given the option to be tested for HIV during my pregnancy. I did not believe I was in need of it so I turned it down. I found out just 3 weeks before he was born that even though I had the right to deny the test for myself, Illinois law says that ALL babies will receive the rapid HIV test upon birth. I realize you're probably thinking, What's the big deal? Well there are several big deals:

1) It's my business what testing I choose to have done and not choose to have done! What right has the state to stick a needle in my newborns vein w/o my consent or even knowledge. See a Dr didn't tell me this, I found out happenstance. When I asked the Dr he confirmed the information but told me he was under no obligation to tell me about the law.

2)The rapid HIV test has a very high false positive rate. This is because it doesn't actually test for HIV because that takes weeks. It test for an abundance of T cells. Which anyone can have for a number of reasons. Once a positive is received for the rapid HIV the baby is immediately given retro viral drugs and breast feeding is not allowed. Baby is also usually kept in hospital or put into foster care until the standard test comes back at around 4 weeks. (wanna guess who's paying that bill?) Cause see, refusing to test for HIV when you have it (cause how else would the baby get it) is called child neglect in Illinois.

3)I actually had a nurse at the hospital where Connor was born tell me, when I complained about the law, that I was just a parent and didn't have the ability to make such decisions (have my son tested or not) and that that is why Illinois had to pass a law to protect baby's from their (her word was unknowledgeable but I heard STUPID) parents.

These are all instances that have happened to me. I pray I don't have to struggle anymore with others but I sincerely doubt it.

BTW, in other countries, there is no such things as parental rights. Your parenting are judged by "national safety statistics"!

Please go to the web site, please read the information and please educate your self on this very real danger.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Things are not always what they seem

As a child growing up in church I have heard many sermons both from the pulpit and from the parking lot. Those people who give you a sermon either by cornering you because they must give you their expert opinion on this, that, or the other and then the sermons by observation.

One of the many things I heard both with my ears and with my eyes was parents saying how perfect and wonderful their kids were. I have no doubt that at the times these kids were perfect and most times they were wonderful but I must be honest and admit that these actions and words, although appropriate, gave me a warped opinion about parenting. Part of that because my only source for Godly parenting skills was the church, the other part just being plain immaturity.

I have come to this age in my life, what I call the enlightening age, carrying this and other warped ideas. I have expected my children to be perfect like Susie's kids or Merry's girls or ... well you get the picture. This has caused an unnecessary strain on me, my husband and most of all my children. If I heard it once I heard it a 1000 times! "My teenagers NEVER gave me one moments trouble." I now have a teenager and have learned that there idea of trouble and what I thought was trouble must be two different things! I thought (and still do) that what they meant was that their children were perfect. That they never gave them any worries or concerns and they never again had to be disciplined or reprimanded. I have changed my view greatly especially in the last few days. I think that these parents do think there children are angels and one may even be the christ-child him or herself (little c on purpose, I don't want to give honour to whom it is not due).

I, one the other hand, realize that these people are delusional and should get some counselling! Kids and teenagers are in NO way as "perfect" as these parents made them seem. Immaturity is just not that pretty. So what's a mother to do? What should my response be to those who still claim to have the most perfect kids in the world while mine *gasp* don't always do what they're told? This is the conclusion I have come to. Every parents has a scale if you will on importance. As a matter of fact everyone does on everything. Something that works at my house you might not ever allow at yours. The only problem is when you make a statement of your child's perfection and don't illustrate what your scale is you give a false impression. That can lead to confusion and great frustartion on those around you who do not have someone to guide them through their learning experiences. Watch what you say around the rest of us who are still trying to figure out this parenting thing. So what next? What bout those who just have to prove how awesome their kids are?

I have decided in my home to lighten up a little bit. The next time someone comes to me with a bit of news about "what my child has said or done" to not freak out about it. It is perfectly ok with me and Jerry if people see our children as they are. Sinners who are trying to serve God but will ALWAYS fail. There is just no way around that. I'm not saying that I will excuse sin. NO NO NO.It will be dealt with but it's no longer gonna be the end of the world because Jon & Jane's children would have never done something like that. Well, I have seen Jon & Jane's children as adults and they don't do much of anything!

So please excuse my imperfect, rowdy, messy, loud, sinful kids. Please don't allow your quiet, perfect, sweet, neat, angelic kids around mine. You kids might rub off on mine and I don't want any part of that!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


For every person in America, even the world, today is a new era. A new time. For some it's a day of unsettlement, for many it's a day of joy and for all it is a day of history. From the inception of America it was never even a dream for a man like Barack Obama to become President. I do not mean just his skin color, by no means. Although that is part of it. Any body who has ever lived in the South knows that his race is reason enough to say that yesterday was a historic day. My thought though includes more. I speak of his values, his ideas and his beliefs.
Quoting from President-Elect Obama's acceptance speech, "If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer."
Personally, I do not agree with his statement. I don't believe that the founding fathers would have believed any one who told them tonight would happen. I don't see George Washington or the infamous Thomas Jefferson (if you are unaware of his story I encourage you to Google him) as dreaming of today. Again though, I speak not only of his race. From what I have heard him say and the speeches I have heard him give and from at one time living in the state in which he was Senator I believe he has socialistic beliefs and supports many issues that are unGodly and even wicked (his ban on allowing health care for infant survivors of abortions).
So where does America go now. I believe that in mine or my children's life time that the America that the founding father's dreamed of will no longer exist. We will no longer be a Christian nation but will simply be a religious nation. We will no longer believe as a nation that the Bible is the Word of God but will be told it is a book of religious writings. We will no longer be a nation that supports Israel or the Jehovah God of that nation, but will support and care only for those who "had no choice in their despair". Now I realize my last statement sounds barbaric but hear me out. I myself have questioned why not have a socialistic society, a socialistic world even. Why not try to give all that can be given to those who need it. How many of us women don't have a hard time seeing a hungry, sick or hurting child? When we act in a socialistic manner we make money the god. Money becomes the answer to our prayers as opposed to Jesus Christ.
Now history is made so what do we do. We do what we should do whether or not Obama was elected the new president. We do what we should have been doing all along. We do what is right and good and best for us to do.

We Pray!