Thursday, November 13, 2008

Things are not always what they seem

As a child growing up in church I have heard many sermons both from the pulpit and from the parking lot. Those people who give you a sermon either by cornering you because they must give you their expert opinion on this, that, or the other and then the sermons by observation.

One of the many things I heard both with my ears and with my eyes was parents saying how perfect and wonderful their kids were. I have no doubt that at the times these kids were perfect and most times they were wonderful but I must be honest and admit that these actions and words, although appropriate, gave me a warped opinion about parenting. Part of that because my only source for Godly parenting skills was the church, the other part just being plain immaturity.

I have come to this age in my life, what I call the enlightening age, carrying this and other warped ideas. I have expected my children to be perfect like Susie's kids or Merry's girls or ... well you get the picture. This has caused an unnecessary strain on me, my husband and most of all my children. If I heard it once I heard it a 1000 times! "My teenagers NEVER gave me one moments trouble." I now have a teenager and have learned that there idea of trouble and what I thought was trouble must be two different things! I thought (and still do) that what they meant was that their children were perfect. That they never gave them any worries or concerns and they never again had to be disciplined or reprimanded. I have changed my view greatly especially in the last few days. I think that these parents do think there children are angels and one may even be the christ-child him or herself (little c on purpose, I don't want to give honour to whom it is not due).

I, one the other hand, realize that these people are delusional and should get some counselling! Kids and teenagers are in NO way as "perfect" as these parents made them seem. Immaturity is just not that pretty. So what's a mother to do? What should my response be to those who still claim to have the most perfect kids in the world while mine *gasp* don't always do what they're told? This is the conclusion I have come to. Every parents has a scale if you will on importance. As a matter of fact everyone does on everything. Something that works at my house you might not ever allow at yours. The only problem is when you make a statement of your child's perfection and don't illustrate what your scale is you give a false impression. That can lead to confusion and great frustartion on those around you who do not have someone to guide them through their learning experiences. Watch what you say around the rest of us who are still trying to figure out this parenting thing. So what next? What bout those who just have to prove how awesome their kids are?

I have decided in my home to lighten up a little bit. The next time someone comes to me with a bit of news about "what my child has said or done" to not freak out about it. It is perfectly ok with me and Jerry if people see our children as they are. Sinners who are trying to serve God but will ALWAYS fail. There is just no way around that. I'm not saying that I will excuse sin. NO NO NO.It will be dealt with but it's no longer gonna be the end of the world because Jon & Jane's children would have never done something like that. Well, I have seen Jon & Jane's children as adults and they don't do much of anything!

So please excuse my imperfect, rowdy, messy, loud, sinful kids. Please don't allow your quiet, perfect, sweet, neat, angelic kids around mine. You kids might rub off on mine and I don't want any part of that!

1 comment:

Kim Allen said...

lol this is good.. Tell Jon and Jane hello for me..